Review: Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake, Penang

Penang's Summerton in Bayan Baru sure has plenty of big-hit food & beverages outlets. First it was Thai Hao Chi Boat Noodle Restaurant, then Beer Factory, this time it's Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake. I have heard that they had a promotion selling the famous cheesecakes for RM1 only, but I missed the promotion. Even after the promotion is over, I still will always see a line of people queuing up in front of the shop during the weekends. Naturally I got curious; I decided to buy some during my Monday-off because I though surely there will be no line during a weekday and so I can buy more for my colleagues; I was wrong.

But, but, It's a Monday morning, why is there still a line?

 

The shop opens at 11am so I rode my bicycle and reached at 10:55am. A line was already forming outside the shop. The wait took 35 minuets.

It was nice of them to put a giant fan outside; the line was building up a lot of heat

The shop closes on Wednesdays, so heads up you guys.

 

 Hmmm, so an oven has 3 decks and each deck can make 12 cakes and each batch takes 1 hour(plus time to package). In a 10 hours they should be making 360 cakes per day. They only make 300 cakes per day so looks like production is 17% below optimum capacity. And if we consider the cost of one cake so we... opps look at the time, that killed 5mins of waiting.

Only one cake per person per time huh? So if I go line up again it'll take me 2 hours to get 4 cheesecakes. Or I can bring my still schooling cousins here and they all can get one order. That would increase my... opps look at the time, that killed another 5mins of waiting.

 

Oh yes! Air-cond!

 

So after the shop opened at 11am sharp. I finally was able to place an order of one, ONLY ONE, cheesecake at 11.35am. But the wait is not over, I needed to wait another 45mins for my cake to be ready!

 

 Hmm... no GST charged. I did not know Cheesecakes are essential items.

 

Finally at 12:10pm, I got my cake, so in total the time required to get a Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake on a Monday morning was 1 hour and 20mins! So I zoomed my way back home to see what this cake is all about. After a few bites all I have to say was: "Meh".

It's like a spongecake infused with cheese. Fluffy but tasteless.

 

So my conclusion is: I don't see what the big fuzz is about. The cake is okay, not great, and definitely not worth the long wait. While munching on the cake, I asked myself 'who would queue up just for this?', but the answer was very obvious; it is people like me. Seeing so many people lining up made me think that the cake must be awesome enough to warrant such a response, also after going through so many hurdles just to get one cake, that made the cake seem all so precious.

But anyway, that's just me. If any of you think the cake is fantastic then good on you.

 

Review: 1001 Inventions Exhibition. (It's about Islamic Science!)

Me and my girl just had the opportunity to check out the "1001 Inventions - Discover The Muslim Heritage In Our World" (that is a mouthful) exhibition in the Bation House, Melaka. (It is near Kota A'Fomosa.) This is my review of it, but it has no original pictures of my own because I was too cheap to pay extra for photography privileges *sigh*.

The exhibition is not free, the fee is RM15 + (some few cents because GST) for adults, and RM 8 + (some few cents because GST) for students. I gotta say, it is money well spent! The exhibition is really well done, what with interactive booths, games, and superbly costumed actors who act as Islamic scholars. This is the best educational exhibition I have seen so far; I spent about 1.5 hours mesmerised by the entire show.

Emphasize 'United Kingdom', because everyone knows all things that come from Europe is good. Like TESCO

What the exhibition is trying to show is:

• Dark Ages = Very Bright from the Islamic perspective
• Islam contributed to modern science DON'T FORGET IT! (and I will keep repeating that in the exhibition just to make sure.) 

To built the theme for the exhibition, they showed us a nice video of a librarian (who is secretly a scholar from 1000 years ago because, duh, magic) leads a group of students to a secret vault and opens a magic book that summons spirits of the past Islamic scholars to educate these students.

The librarian Badi'al-Zaman Abū al-'Izz ibn Ismā'īl ibn al-Razāz al-Jazarī. Too long, Imma call you Buddy..... Buddy bin Kingsley.

 

Then, we were directed to the exhibition which was about the size of two badminton courts with interactive booths arranged into a few circles. Each booth has a TV screen with an Islamic scholar behind it telling us his/her achievements, and there are plenty of scholars dying to brag to us.

These people with complex names gave me a big headache during high school history back in the days. Except Zheng He, he cool. (Yes he was originally Muslim)

 

Ay girl, of course I will pick up that call.

 

The booths also contained exhibitions to explain in detail what they have discovered or built when they were alive. Some of them might even ask you to participate in their demonstrations. The coolest one I played was the one where 3 scholars behind TV screens asked me to "assist" their surgery.

 

 Yes, I'll help you cut open some bodies.

Ibn Zuhr teaching me how to perform cataract removal surgery! Er... I wouldn't place that scalpel there if I were you.

I was amazed then I finally get to see a model of the "Magnificent Elephant Clock" that Buddy bin Kingsley was bragging so much about. It was large and beautiful but sadly, does not work.

Okay, It looks magnificent. But I stood there 10 minuets like an idiot waiting for it to do something cool.

In summary, this place is very cool and well worth a visit especially if you have kids. This only thing I wished was for this place to have a hangar full of those Arabic costume for some awesome seflies! The exhibition will end in May 2015, but it was in Kuala Lumpur, then Trengganu, then Melaka, so who knows? It might come to your state very soon.

"The Empire's Edge" is now for sale!

My book is finally out! And I having an imaginary digital celebration!

 Yay!

The book titled "The Empire's Edge" is out on April 2015.

Grab your dice and chracter sheet and Taste Penang and Malaysia like you have never tasted before!

This is a gamebook and that means that you, the reader, are the main character and get decide how to react to situations. Will you talk your way out of trouble, or will you smash your way out of trouble? You decide!

"The Empire's Edge" is a historical gamebook that captures life in the Edge of the British Empire; more specifically, Penang under the British East India Company. Step into the the time portal and emerge into a time of British naval dominance, sail boats, prejudice, coolies, kapitans, secret societies, and perhaps opium. I guarantee, this book is so special that you ahve never seen before!

Go get yours today at Google Play (preview available free) at an amazing launching promotion of RM5.00 only! (offer lasts until 11 June 2015) or you can get it at Pegasus Yield.

As always, comments and critiques are mist welcome; it helps to shape my plans for "The Empire's Edge 2"

Penang World Music Festival 2015

Just yesterday I attended the Penang World Music Festival held in Esplanade. It was raining at that time and all the crowd (which numbered 100) hid under the tent's shelter. Although some were crazy enough to dance under the rain with umbrellas. But fortunately by mid-show, the rain stopped and that means I gets to boogey close to the stage.

The festival was 6 hours long and was packed with performances with a good mix of contemporary, urban, fusion style, and......... pffffffft, okay I don't know what all those words mean because my artistic vocabulary is very limited, so I will describe the performers in one sentence to the best of my abilities:

1) Nanding Rhapsody (Sarawak, Malaysia)

"Iban Akademi Fantasia"

2) Tarabband (Sweden/Egypt)

"I'm in Sweden but I missed the spices and camels"

3) Ajinai (Inner Mongolia, China)

"Heavy Metal horsemen that are tired but had a shot of cocaine in the end"

4) Prem Joshua & Band (India.... well one of the band members is Indian)

"Curry-flavored-marijuana"

5) Annuluk (Germany)

"Yodeling Jazz"

6) Dizu Plaatjies & Ibuyambo (South Africa)

"How I imagine African music to be like after watching The Lion King"

I had a real blast that night. The only thing that saddens me the low attendance. All these musicians are really fantastic! And to be able to listen to 6 bands for RM80 is pretty cool! I really hope this event gets another green light for next year because I'm going again for sure!

So, please click on the links and check out their music while I go download some of that sweet sweet marijuana curry.

Short-Story Archives: The Stain (Part 2)

    The sun has set into the island's hills in the east side of George Town which brings in chilling breezes from the port that cool the sweat on my back. "See, I suffer much, just because, of your laziness, you owe me, a favor Ah Seng," Ah Fook tells me with that smirk, a smirk so classic that even with a bag full of grain on my back I can still see it. "I could have, gone home, played mahjong, and have my, dinner early. See how, self-sacrificing, am I?" he continues, panting while carrying another bag of grain on his back 
    "So all that talk of being brothers has come to this huh? Did you remember that time you borrowed money from that kelinga man?" I ask him back and he replies with a grunt. "You forgot to pay the him even when he specifically told you that a 'Goddess of Destruction' will come for you if you fail to pay back, then you laughed and said an Indian goddess has no interest in a Chinaman. You remember what happened next?"
    Ah Seng sighs, "A dog bit my leg, yes, yes," he replies dismissively.
    "It delivered her poison, you were so sick you could not move. Now I, have to personally go to the kelinga to apologise and pay back with my own money. Then, I also slashed my back with a knife in front of him to satisfy her need for vengeance."
    "That is, not my fault, you are stupid, to fall for, a kelinga's, dirty pranks," Ah Fook replies while shooing a little boy who has been pestering him a while, trying to sell him some oranges.
    "So you are the master of all things Indian gods now? I told you not to play with these sort of things," I nag him, but as usual he dismisses it saying I am paranoid, too superstitious, too easily tricked. It is his pride talking. "After all that, your legs got better right?"
    "Yes, yes, yes, you are right brother, I can never repay you," he finally relents as we both put the bags of grain on the warehouse's door. The boss nods and gives a few coins to each of us before going back and closing the warehouse. We were lucky this time, usually the boss will starve us for the day. But his recent engagement to a girl of a wealthy Hokkien family may have lightened his mood.
    We wipe the sweat off our foreheads and count our daily pay. "Do you want to make a little more money?" Ah Seng continues with a wide grin and a blinking eye. Ah, his schemes again. I nod to satisfy my amusement. "There is another Hokkien boss who looking for laborers to carry cargo at night. You want? Pay is good."
     I feel bad to disappoint his enthusiasm. The night is setting in and I just want to go back to the dormitory and rest for another day of work. "Work until bones break for what? Enough to eat, enough to drink, what more do you want?"
    I did not mean what I said, I though it might make him accept the decline better. However, his face was aghast. "You mix with these kelinga and malai too much and now you sound like them!" he mocks me jokingly while patting my back in a friendly manner. "Live just to have enough to survive, what life is that?"
    "What do you want to do with so much money?"
    "Open business, find a wife, be rich, have children."
    "But there are so little women here, why would they marry a poor labourer like you?"
    "Then, open business, be rich, find beautiful wife, have children," he answers while laughing loudly. I admire his ambition, my wish is to earn enough so I can sail back to China and live out my old days in the village. Being unsure, I shrug. "Haiya, come, I only do this because this brother is trying to taking care of you. This is opportunity. You are stronger so you will get better pay. See, with my brains and your brawns, we can take on anything."
    Ah Fook does have a point, he is after a Hokkien clansman, a work-mate, a close friend; It is only proper I agree.

Short-Story Archives: The Stain (Part 1)

This is a little short story I have written to paint you guys a picture of life in the colonial Southeast Asia. The story will be divided into multiple parts. Here is part 1:


"Ah Seng, Ah Seng, eat dinner!" a familiar voice calls to me. I await squatted outside the family hut that belonged my father's father. My father squatted next to me nonchalantly as usual. Some few yards away, I keep vigil watch over my grandfather who laid on a mat inside a small hut of thin wooden planks made just for him. He stopped walking ever since his leg swelled with pus. We had no money for any sort of doctors and he insists that his time has come and was unwilling for the family to spend another coin more on him. Thus he remained doomed to that little prison, slowly waiting for the afterlife.

"Ah Seng, Ah Seng? When are you getting a wife?" My mother asks in Hokkien while serving rice with steamed vegetables. I remain silent. "Ah Seng, Ah Seng, if you don't have wife, how do you have children? How do you pass on the family name? You must think of the family first," She continues. My father seems oblivious to mother's nagging and the world as he chomps on his food. The smell from his clothes tells me he has been smoking that vile opium again who had poisoned his body and mind rendering him unable to work. Poor mother, I thought as I scowl at him.

"Ah Seng, Ah Seng, take this bowl of rice and give it to grandfather, if he is going to die better a full ghost than a hungry ghost." I nod. I have been put in charge of delivering food and water to my grandfather but I dread at that duty; the hut is fouled with the stench of his rotting legs which had by now grown into a grotesque mixture of red blood, white bone, yellow pus, and black dead skin. He would smile gently at me each time I come, but I could not bare to return the gesture. After I am done with my solemn duty, I would quickly rush home to wash my hands off the disease, the misfortune, and perhaps the guilt of failing to be a filial grandson.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Ah Seng, Ah Seng!" the voice in Hokkien pulled me out from the clutches of the dream demons right before cold water splashes on my face. I jerk up from my gunny sack bed in response. "Woi, Ah Seng, time to toil! Boss said he will make you starve if you dare to be late again."

I immediately scan the coolie dormitory with my eyes which are in full attention and in shock; the dormitory is empty save for me and Ah Fook. "Die!" I exclaim and quickly rush out of the dormitory with Ah Fook. "Thank you for waking me, but you will also be late." I asked him while we rush towards the jetty.

"That is what brothers do!" he replies with a smile. He is the closest thing I have to a family ever since I sailed to Penang. This place is foreign and the work is heavy but unlike back in Fukkien, I will not starve working hard here; that is of course if the boss will not have my head this time. Despite it all, Ah Fook made all this bearable. We had countless adventures and managed to bail each other out even at the worst of times. Perhaps meeting Ah Fook is my fortune in life which coincidentally is what his name means in Hokkien.

My Writer's Bible!

For your info, I am not a Christian. But I guess developing countries could use a little consumerism and well, everyone loves presents.Christmas is over, and my lovely girlfriend gave me an awesome gift, it's the book "How Not To Write a Novel".

According to the internet, that book is recommended as a must-read for all aspiring writers. I tried to look for it in the local bookstores but sadly, they had none. So, my girl went to Amazon and got one copy shipped from the US. According to her, the look on my face when I unwrapped my gift was priceless.

Can you feel the light emanating from it?

After reading a few pages, I had to agree with internet that this is some very good stuff! It contains many common mistakes novel writers make and with it, an example so you can experience the pain of reading it firsthand. For example, to illustrate using bombastic words sometimes stall a reader's immersion into your story:

"This is silly," she scoffed glibly at her.

Another plus point is that this book was written in a humorous tone that saves me from the dread of reading a boring textbook. That also means that even if you are not planning to write a novel, you will still have fun reading it. One notable example is concerning the mistake of letting a character escape from a challenge by a seemingly convenient out-of-the blue solution; the book describes that as a deus ex machina which is French for 'Are you f*king kidding me?'

 Hey, this one actually has a deus! (Note: The actual book does not have illustrations.)

To fully utilise this book, I'd say you should first be able to write understandable English, then this book can help you write exceptional stories. I will recommend this to anyone who wants a publishing deal or simply a good laugh. Needless to say, I love this book and will probably refer to it very often when I start penning (or rather keyboarding) things.

Fixi Novo. This publisher has its own manifesto!

When I go to the bookstores, I sometimes scroll through books by Malaysian writers. One publisher's books however caught my attention. After reading a first few pages, I had a feeling that I am going to like that publisher's books. Check out the Malaysian publishing company Fixi Novo's manifesto!

 

I LOLed after reading this. So, I bought one of their books. "Love in Penang" sounded fantastic because, as you should already know by now, I love Penang. This book turned out to be a collection of short stories by various writers; for RM20 only, its a real good bargain. 

Full review forthcoming!

Windhammer 2014 Review: Archipelago of Omens

Last year, I submitted an entry that had a problem of rules being too complicated. This year, as if by providence, an entry appears to show me how a gamebook with complex rules system would look like if done properly.  Archipelago of Omens is an entry where the rules don't complement the reading experience because they are the reading experience. 

The story revolves around a two deity lovers who were separated and only by uniting them can the world be saved. You get to play as characters in 3 different time periods to accomplish that mission. The story was plain and simple. Playing different characters just gives you different rules to toy with. I was hoping that somehow finishing a story with a character in an earlier time period will change the story for the other characters if I replayed.

The rules was where the game truly won me over. However, having to swallow 5 pages of rules and 3 pages of appendix was very off-putting at first. But once I start playing, slowly with plenty of page flipping, I managed to get the hang of the rules and boy it was fun! Very quickly, I forgot what the story was about and obsessed over every new item, weapon, and armor I got. However, I can foresee that this will not suit everyone's taste. I only find it enjoyable because I am a fan of tabletop RPGs and this type of game was just my cup of tea.

Complex rules eh? My munchkin senses are tingling

Despite the rules being its strongest selling point. It had a few minor weaknesses. The armor system was kinda confusing, the crafting rules did not clarify what counts as safe location, and the random encounter table sometimes coughed out enemies that were not in the same time period as my character.

Overall, this was a fun game but it will only be so for people who like pen and paper RPGs. In my opinion, complex rules works best when combined with an open world. So perhaps with less railroading and a nice map, this game will be solid. However, to make this game fun for the general public, the author must answer this question: "If I liked games like this, why am I not clicking away on Diablo 3 or World of Warcraft instead?"

The Empire's Edge (Commentary): The Touchy Theme of Imperialism and Colonialism

When I wrote the short gamebook The Empire's Edge, I pictured an adventure in a land seldom explored by literature; my own homeland. I could have just wrote a story about a mighty whitey saving a native princess or a native hero who defeats the evil colonialists. However that would have made the story very typical. I chose to bite directly at the subject of imperialism for it spices the story suitably. It was a sensitive topic so massive research and planning ensued.

In the course of it, I realised that the modern perception of imperialism is very odious. This is especially true if you are coming from European countries. A mere mention of the word 'colonies' would afflict a westerner with an uncomfortable silence. Understandable. After World War II, the once noble notion of empire building had by then tasted poorly in everyone's mouth. So predictably, when people read it, comments came back asking 'why are you glorifying something so distasteful?'

The answer is simple; imperialism and colonialism was not all bad.

It's an action story of a fictional native hero who killed the evil colonialist. Would have been fun if I did not know where Sarawak is.

I may have reached that personal conclusion philosophically. I wanted to portray truthfully how the people were back in the days and truthfully, the colonised did not all loath the idea of being governed by a foreign power. The image of the native colonies giving the British Empire the middle finger and rejoicing to be finally rid of their evil overlords as the empire crumbled was not all true. Case in point, a passage from the first prime minister of Malaysia's independence speech:

 "For many years past our fortunes have been linked with those of Great Britain and we recall in particular the comradeship of two world wars. We remember too the products of our association; justice before the law, the legacy of an efficient public service and the highest standard of living in Asia. We shall therefore always remember with gratitude the assistance which we have received from Great Britain down our long path to nationhood; an assistance which culminated today with the proclamation of Malaya’s Independence."

-Tunku Abdul Rahman

Even from old manuscripts and journals in Penang during 1800s, the voices of old did not seem disgruntled to be ruled by a foreign power. To make it easier to explain, I will list out common perceptions of how would the colonised react to being colonised and then provide some of my input.

1) The people would have been very unhappy that their ruler is foreign.

True, but only in the later time period. In the 1800s, nationalism was unheard of. The natives' understanding of politics was very simple, the king protects and the people serve. It did not matter what colour the king's skin was and the East India Company was a fair king. True, the laws were unfair but it installed order; their laws were clearer and they had the manpower and money to enforce it.

2) The colonialists brought slavery and indentured labour. The people suffered.

Yes, slavery was bad and it was older than feudalism. Even before Europeans set foot in the East Indies, slavery was a common practice; imperialism just expanded the market. Ironically, it was the British Empire who brought a empire-wide abolishment of slavery. We have Wilberforce to thank for it.

Indentured labour however was a morally grey area. But to put it into a native's perspective, a choice between starving to death and working for low wages in a far away land was not a hard choice to make for most.

3) The people were poor, because the colonialists sucked all the wealth.

It would seem that taxes and the conspiring to keep native's labour pay low damages a nation's wealth. However, being a colony means the people had access to technology, capital, and a law system conducive to business. One could still be wealthy beyond what they could have achieved before colonialism if they worked really hard and the people knew it.

4) The people resented being bullied by the colonialists and their cannons and ships.

If you were a local ruler, yes you would. But to the common lay man, it was either being bullied by European muskets or the local ruler's home-grown spears.

It may sound like I am praising colonialism but I assure you the opposite; colonialism is grey. Colonialism has its bad sides, though to discuss it is to beat an already dead horse. Thus my characters all had differing view points of colonialism to show readers that in those days, the people had a love-hate relationship with the British Empire.

Windhammer Results!

Sorry for my pause in postings. I was a little swarmed by work from my day job.

Anyways, the results from the 2014 Windhammer Prize for Short Gamebook Fiction is out and I got a Merit Award. Yay!

Just like last year, being able to see other fellow gamebook writers' work and in turn offer and receive criticisms has been and still is a very valuable experience to me. I think the ideas put forward and suggestions for improvement will help us all grow as writers.

To be winning the merit prize with Philip Armstrong was (oh, whats that Asiatic word for it) a great honor. His entry was made of pure awesomeness and to have my work regarded equally made me all giddy inside.

Applause for Paul Struth for winning the competition. His abilities as a writer was immensely impressive, I could not have thought of a better winner.

So thank you, and thank you, and see you all next year! Hopefully.

Windhammer 2014 Review: Tales Of A Captain: To Recruit A Daemon

When I started reading the entry, I was pumped up. The introduction was humorous, the game system was very creative and fresh, and the powers that I get to use sounded very powerful. But sadly, I felt really disappointed once I was done.

Tales Of A Captain: To Recruit A Daemon is a game where I got to play as a Captain... of something, and I had to recruit a daemon... for some reason. There was actually not much background in this entry. All I knew was I had awesome powers but am unsure how they worked.

As I pressed on, I had a really hard time following what was happening. Judging by the words used, I think there were lots of explosions, cosmic radiations, and forceful impacts. The story was so confusing, it got to the point where I gave up and just randomly picked a choice and hopefully don't die. Or, in short, I felt like I was reading a Micheal Bay movie.

The game system had potential. To make a choice, I select the power I want to use. Each power has a number next to it. I add the number to the entry I am currently in and flip to that passage. Simple. However, it failed to impress. The game was science fiction, but the author did not explain how physics works in this setting and in extension the author also did not state how my powers actually worked. To make matters worse, make a wrong choice of powers, you may just stumble upon instant death!

To better illustrate, here is an example:

Pulating VoidBalls, hundreds, denser, and are glowing, you move forward and they veer towards you attracted to matter. How are you going to get past them?
Me: "What are VoidBalls? It has got the word Void so er spherical Voids? But you said in the beginning Void is absence so how does it have density? Well gonna use PosiArts then." *Flip*
The power attracts the VoidBalls. Game Over
Me: "What? But says in the intro void is absence, absence is negative, and opposite of negative is positive. So my PosiArts which were positive energy should have cancelled out the VoidBalls! Fine, maybe that is not how it works. So lets try Dimension Well. says in the intro it could potentially punch through void energy kinda cancelling each other out." *Flip*
The attack swarms from every side and your well cannot stop it. Game Over.

This is an entry with a lot of potential. Perhaps with better narration and explanation of the in-world physics. This can be a solid entry.

Windhammer 2014 Review: The Puttbuster Initiative: Spacetime Golfcrush

This has got to be the most hilarious entry this year. The characters, the game system, the setting were all whimsical and all added to the entry's appeal. Or to summarise it in one word, Awesome!

The Puttbuster Initiative: Spacetime Golfcrush is an entry which puts readers to play golf, not regular golf but inter-dimensional future space golf! The story was that I am an a newcomer to the pro tournament, and must win to get enough prize money to repay my debt. Silly plan? yes, and honestly just a plot to explain why my character is risking his life to play golf with no upgrades unlike my competitors.

The game was played with very well illustrated er... golf-fields? (apologies, I am not very good with golf terminologies) that were cut into different sections. Where will your ball land on depends on your upgrades and your die's mood. But each time you land on any of the squares, there will be challenges such as a monsters to fight, acid splashing onto you, or your ball zapped into oblivion all of which can be negated with the correct upgrades.

How I imagine the 3-platinum drive looks like

The writing was fantastic and adds to the whole silliness of the entry. The commentators were hilarious and I always look forward to what they had to say after a swing. However, I feel they seem to get less and less funny as the game progresses, a slight downer.

However I do have some nit-picks though:
1) After you finish a hole you get money to buy upgrades, the better you perform the more money. However, the holes will get harder so upgrades become even more important. So how well I perform in this game is dependent on how well I did in the 1st hole which is dependent on the mood of my die which I felt is a bit unfair.

2) The commentators were awesome, however I felt the they could be made funnier. Their characteristics were great but I think there is an untapped potential in there.


All in all, this in a very enjoyable entry, hugely recommended. I can totally see it in an phone app someday. 

Windhammer 2014 Review: Problem?

I have to admit, after dying horribly multiple times for no apparent reason at all, I wished this entry was a book so I can fling it to the wall. But then it hit me, that's the whole point of this book.

Problem? is as the author puts it, a tongue-in-cheek silly game not to be taken seriously. The game starts with me being summoned to a queen where I was asked, well, forced into a quest which the queen could have solved it herself but makes you do it anyways for the lulz.

This game is clearly a parody for the 80's gamebooks and with it contains everything that made me scream in frustration like, a circular maze, meaningless choices, traps that look like treasures, a boss you could not possibly beat, instant deaths and more!

Are you having.... FUN??? Hue hue hue hue hue.....

To say that this is a bad entry is not doing it justice. The author intended it to be bad. In fact, I'm guessing that he imagined us having a good time laughing along with him at his work. However, I rarely see people laugh when they are at the receiving end of the trolling.

This is one of the first entries I played. So a month later (after my rage died down), I can retrospectively see that this entry is actually quite solid. I talked about this entry the most with my friends. Honestly, I think there is a diamond somewhere in all that dust that I can't seem to put my finger on. That is going to bug me for days. 

I would recommend you play this, then let your friends play it so you can see them rage quit! And thus the trolling repeats itself!

 

Windhammer 2014 Review: The Sacrifice

Traditionally, gamebooks tended to use 2nd person narrative. Perhaps that is in reminiscent of RPGs where the author acts like a dungeon master telling the players what has happened. That restricts the authors from telling the players what they think or feel. The Sacrifice however uses 1st person narrative and thus feels like a short story trying to be a gamebook. But, the application of gamebook rules into the story is overall well done and I enjoyed playing this entry.

The story was set in England after World War 1 and it involved a close friend who changed drastically after returning from the great war. So, being the concerned friend that I am, I was sent on a quest to go solve this mystery. After talking to the said friend, the lover he abandoned, and the lady he was entangled with, the story climaxed with a zombie out-break summoned by occult magic and I saved the day by breaking the spell.

"I dare say, the ol' bean just has not been the same since he's back from the trenches fighting the Jerries"

The writing in this story was phenomenal. Such is the benefits of 1st person narrative I suppose. It painted a good picture of life amongst the upperclassmen in an English Mansion. The characters were colorful and I could feel them coming to life each with different views and concerns about the said close friend.

The game system was very simple perhaps too simple for my taste. At the passage where there was a battle, the combat system felt like a momentarily jam in the story. Other than that nitpick, the game system complements well with the story. I really liked the ending part where a scoreboard was presented as a epilogue so the happy ending depended on what you did in the story.

Overall, this entry's game system was too simple to the point I asked myself does it even qualify as one. However, the engaging writing and story more than compensates that weakness. This entry is easily recommendable and it got me thinking that perhaps my writing should aspire to be more like Paul Struth's.

Windhammer 2014 Review: Path of Heresy

Before I start, I have to confess I don't particularly like bishojos. Bishojos are a type of dating simulation computer games that are popular in Japan. Very similar to gamebooks except bishojos have graphics to show how the girl(s) looks and their reaction when you make a choice. Path of Heresy is a book version of this. Since it is 100% text, it needs very good writing to bring the characters to life and that is challenging. Sadly this entry fails to deliver that.

First, it introduced me as a priest of Light but does not tell me what that my vocation is exactly. The game mechanics introduced favour points that can be used to power up prayers but then does not tell what these prayers do. I looked past it and get into the game hoping that the setting will slowly establish once I read on. It did not, so I just assumed it was a generic Dungeons and Dragons setting.

 "Each prayer will decrease your Favour and if it reaches 0, the journey will be over since the prayer will have consumed the piece of Light you carry by birth – your soul."

The writing was problematic. Although I'll give the author some slack because I too come from a country where English is not the first language. Thus we too use English a bit differently. I generally understood what the author was writing about. However, this is a competition where majority of the readers (I assume) comes from countries where English is the first language. The oddness of the sentences is so numerous in this entry that it felt like the reading experience was littered with speed bumps and that stops me from being taken in by the story.

At the start of the game I was introduced to Sister Ulmia the girl I had to woo to win this game. Personally I felt that the author did not write enough to bring this character to life enough for me to care about her. But you be the judge, here is a list of descriptions of Sister Lumia in the entire entry.

- You turn your head and smell the sweet odour of Sister Ulmia. Her emerald almond-shaped eyes sparkle in the light of the street lamp. She looks stunning even in twilight.
- There is an ugly scar on her throat, marring her immaculate milk white skin.
-You can see her wide smile as you begin the prayer. It is a beautiful smile. She puts her hand where the scar was.
-Sister Ulmia looks with disgust at the bloodstains as soon as you arrive at the well-lit square in front of the inn. You understand her. She is used to the jet black members of the Order of the Cleansed wear.
- The priestess plays with her infernally red hair, trying to sort the beautiful mess.
-“I feel like drinking a jug of wine,” the priestess says.
- She asks, her cheek already obtaining a rosy hue.
-What you know about the beauty is that she used to be a devil who went through a series of transformation prayers so that she could look human and serve the Light.
-The skin of the priestess gets bright red and spotted. You have never seen her initial form,
Then she gets kidnapped and not heard from until the end.

I would not have cared much for this girl if treating her nice was the only way to win. The author will keep reminding me from time to time.

Even if I ignore about the romance part of the book and pretended was a rescue adventure. The challenges posed to me was very often resolved by sheer coincidence or by a solution that does not make sense and that makes the adventure mediocre.

Overall, I can say that the author's writing is his biggest weakness, and that weakness is magnified by writing a genre that needs good writing skills to make readers engross in the story. This one is hard to recommend even among fans of Bishojos.

Armenian Street: Secret Societies (Kongsi Gelap)

Armenian Street has now become a hotspot for tourists coming to Penang. That is wonderful news except for when I have to drive there to eat Hokkien mee which then the crowd becomes bothersome.Ha

But, what I always notice is that every daytime that I am there, I'd see everyone crowd around in one particular section of the street to take a picture of the mural called "Little Children on a Bicycle".

The most important tourist attraction in Penang right after Char Koay Teow (Fried Noodles)

Everyone comes to take a picture with that one iconic mural

I understand that the mural is iconic and a must see, however there are cooler things to see in Armenian Street. A shame really, not many know. So, I'm here to give you places in Armenian Street you should definitely stop by next time you are there.

Hock Teik Cheng Sin Temple (Tua Pek Kong Temple)
To understand the significance of this place, you need to understand how kongsis work in British Penang. Now, Penang was a popular destination for Chinese migrants seeking employment. But after a Chinaman arrives in Penang, there were no employment centers or job advertisements. He had to go find his kinsman/clansman (which most of the time had the same surname). Well then, these kongsi were the community centers for each of these clans. This was the place ceremonies were performed, the dead were worshiped, and the clansman were gathered. So the Chinaman just had to go to his respective kongsi and ask for jobs.

Very often, these kongsis have businesses ran by individual clansmen or have business run by the collective effort of multiple clansmen. Nevertheless, that meant jobs were plentiful for the newly arrived Chinaman. He could stay at the kongsi building until he has enough money for his own accommodation.

What seems like a perfect arrangement has its shortcomings. The newly arrived Chinaman was now under the protection of a kongsi. Being this far away from home, the kongsi was now his family and he was willing to sacrifice his life to protect the kongsi. In essence, the kongsi now had men willing to fight for it and thus acted more like a criminal organization (this is debatable) away from the eyes of the British officers. They have become secret societies.

Hock Teik Cheng Sin Temple was the headquarters of Kien Teik Tong, a locally created secret society. Kien Teik Tong is not one single kongsi but a combination of kongsis banded together. This makes them one of the more powerful ones in Penang.

Khoo Kongsi and Cheah Kongsi's Temple can be found in Armenian Street too

But the Hock Teik Cheng Sin Temple is kinda secluded. I think its seclusion fits well as a Secret Society's headquarters. But here is how you find it:

Walk away from the mural and a little deeper into Armenian Street

On your left you will see a small gate

And you have found it!

But, Kean Teik was not alone. Often they came into conflict with other secret societies. I mean, who likes it when other people come into your turf. Their main enemy is the Ghee Hin Society. However, this rivalry is not only confined to the Chinese only. To make sure they had the upper hand, each secret society went out to find allies, powerful and influential Indian and Malay leaders started taking sides. 

 Secret Society Factions in general 

So as you can see, the Kean Teik got the support of Hai San secret society (Hai San are more active in the Perak rivalry, but that is another tale.) and also the Malay and Indian leaders from Acheh Street which is actually just side by side with Armenian Street.

So when you are standing in Armenian Street, you are standing in the heart of one of the most powerful underground organization Penang has ever known!

This rivalry was no small conflict. In 1867, both the Red Flag and the White Flag went into open fighting. This fighting was so destructive, Georgetown became a war zone for 9 days until reinforcement from Singapore and India came to quell it.

British forces are very limited to stop the riot. The people had to take arms and protect themselves

So, next time you are in Armenian Street, stop by the kongsis and the Hock Teik Cheng Sin Temple, admire the Chinese communal spirit, mercantile success and the evil that follows it.

After the riots, the British had banned Secret Societies. However, rumor has it "The Red Flag still lives".

Next time I will write about Armenian Street's contribution to the fall of the nighty Qing Dynasty in China