Review: Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake, Penang

Penang's Summerton in Bayan Baru sure has plenty of big-hit food & beverages outlets. First it was Thai Hao Chi Boat Noodle Restaurant, then Beer Factory, this time it's Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake. I have heard that they had a promotion selling the famous cheesecakes for RM1 only, but I missed the promotion. Even after the promotion is over, I still will always see a line of people queuing up in front of the shop during the weekends. Naturally I got curious; I decided to buy some during my Monday-off because I though surely there will be no line during a weekday and so I can buy more for my colleagues; I was wrong.

But, but, It's a Monday morning, why is there still a line?

 

The shop opens at 11am so I rode my bicycle and reached at 10:55am. A line was already forming outside the shop. The wait took 35 minuets.

It was nice of them to put a giant fan outside; the line was building up a lot of heat

The shop closes on Wednesdays, so heads up you guys.

 

 Hmmm, so an oven has 3 decks and each deck can make 12 cakes and each batch takes 1 hour(plus time to package). In a 10 hours they should be making 360 cakes per day. They only make 300 cakes per day so looks like production is 17% below optimum capacity. And if we consider the cost of one cake so we... opps look at the time, that killed 5mins of waiting.

Only one cake per person per time huh? So if I go line up again it'll take me 2 hours to get 4 cheesecakes. Or I can bring my still schooling cousins here and they all can get one order. That would increase my... opps look at the time, that killed another 5mins of waiting.

 

Oh yes! Air-cond!

 

So after the shop opened at 11am sharp. I finally was able to place an order of one, ONLY ONE, cheesecake at 11.35am. But the wait is not over, I needed to wait another 45mins for my cake to be ready!

 

 Hmm... no GST charged. I did not know Cheesecakes are essential items.

 

Finally at 12:10pm, I got my cake, so in total the time required to get a Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake on a Monday morning was 1 hour and 20mins! So I zoomed my way back home to see what this cake is all about. After a few bites all I have to say was: "Meh".

It's like a spongecake infused with cheese. Fluffy but tasteless.

 

So my conclusion is: I don't see what the big fuzz is about. The cake is okay, not great, and definitely not worth the long wait. While munching on the cake, I asked myself 'who would queue up just for this?', but the answer was very obvious; it is people like me. Seeing so many people lining up made me think that the cake must be awesome enough to warrant such a response, also after going through so many hurdles just to get one cake, that made the cake seem all so precious.

But anyway, that's just me. If any of you think the cake is fantastic then good on you.

 

Review: 1001 Inventions Exhibition. (It's about Islamic Science!)

Me and my girl just had the opportunity to check out the "1001 Inventions - Discover The Muslim Heritage In Our World" (that is a mouthful) exhibition in the Bation House, Melaka. (It is near Kota A'Fomosa.) This is my review of it, but it has no original pictures of my own because I was too cheap to pay extra for photography privileges *sigh*.

The exhibition is not free, the fee is RM15 + (some few cents because GST) for adults, and RM 8 + (some few cents because GST) for students. I gotta say, it is money well spent! The exhibition is really well done, what with interactive booths, games, and superbly costumed actors who act as Islamic scholars. This is the best educational exhibition I have seen so far; I spent about 1.5 hours mesmerised by the entire show.

Emphasize 'United Kingdom', because everyone knows all things that come from Europe is good. Like TESCO

What the exhibition is trying to show is:

• Dark Ages = Very Bright from the Islamic perspective
• Islam contributed to modern science DON'T FORGET IT! (and I will keep repeating that in the exhibition just to make sure.) 

To built the theme for the exhibition, they showed us a nice video of a librarian (who is secretly a scholar from 1000 years ago because, duh, magic) leads a group of students to a secret vault and opens a magic book that summons spirits of the past Islamic scholars to educate these students.

The librarian Badi'al-Zaman Abū al-'Izz ibn Ismā'īl ibn al-Razāz al-Jazarī. Too long, Imma call you Buddy..... Buddy bin Kingsley.

 

Then, we were directed to the exhibition which was about the size of two badminton courts with interactive booths arranged into a few circles. Each booth has a TV screen with an Islamic scholar behind it telling us his/her achievements, and there are plenty of scholars dying to brag to us.

These people with complex names gave me a big headache during high school history back in the days. Except Zheng He, he cool. (Yes he was originally Muslim)

 

Ay girl, of course I will pick up that call.

 

The booths also contained exhibitions to explain in detail what they have discovered or built when they were alive. Some of them might even ask you to participate in their demonstrations. The coolest one I played was the one where 3 scholars behind TV screens asked me to "assist" their surgery.

 

 Yes, I'll help you cut open some bodies.

Ibn Zuhr teaching me how to perform cataract removal surgery! Er... I wouldn't place that scalpel there if I were you.

I was amazed then I finally get to see a model of the "Magnificent Elephant Clock" that Buddy bin Kingsley was bragging so much about. It was large and beautiful but sadly, does not work.

Okay, It looks magnificent. But I stood there 10 minuets like an idiot waiting for it to do something cool.

In summary, this place is very cool and well worth a visit especially if you have kids. This only thing I wished was for this place to have a hangar full of those Arabic costume for some awesome seflies! The exhibition will end in May 2015, but it was in Kuala Lumpur, then Trengganu, then Melaka, so who knows? It might come to your state very soon.

"The Empire's Edge" is now for sale!

My book is finally out! And I having an imaginary digital celebration!

 Yay!

The book titled "The Empire's Edge" is out on April 2015.

Grab your dice and chracter sheet and Taste Penang and Malaysia like you have never tasted before!

This is a gamebook and that means that you, the reader, are the main character and get decide how to react to situations. Will you talk your way out of trouble, or will you smash your way out of trouble? You decide!

"The Empire's Edge" is a historical gamebook that captures life in the Edge of the British Empire; more specifically, Penang under the British East India Company. Step into the the time portal and emerge into a time of British naval dominance, sail boats, prejudice, coolies, kapitans, secret societies, and perhaps opium. I guarantee, this book is so special that you ahve never seen before!

Go get yours today at Google Play (preview available free) at an amazing launching promotion of RM5.00 only! (offer lasts until 11 June 2015) or you can get it at Pegasus Yield.

As always, comments and critiques are mist welcome; it helps to shape my plans for "The Empire's Edge 2"

Penang World Music Festival 2015

Just yesterday I attended the Penang World Music Festival held in Esplanade. It was raining at that time and all the crowd (which numbered 100) hid under the tent's shelter. Although some were crazy enough to dance under the rain with umbrellas. But fortunately by mid-show, the rain stopped and that means I gets to boogey close to the stage.

The festival was 6 hours long and was packed with performances with a good mix of contemporary, urban, fusion style, and......... pffffffft, okay I don't know what all those words mean because my artistic vocabulary is very limited, so I will describe the performers in one sentence to the best of my abilities:

1) Nanding Rhapsody (Sarawak, Malaysia)

"Iban Akademi Fantasia"

2) Tarabband (Sweden/Egypt)

"I'm in Sweden but I missed the spices and camels"

3) Ajinai (Inner Mongolia, China)

"Heavy Metal horsemen that are tired but had a shot of cocaine in the end"

4) Prem Joshua & Band (India.... well one of the band members is Indian)

"Curry-flavored-marijuana"

5) Annuluk (Germany)

"Yodeling Jazz"

6) Dizu Plaatjies & Ibuyambo (South Africa)

"How I imagine African music to be like after watching The Lion King"

I had a real blast that night. The only thing that saddens me the low attendance. All these musicians are really fantastic! And to be able to listen to 6 bands for RM80 is pretty cool! I really hope this event gets another green light for next year because I'm going again for sure!

So, please click on the links and check out their music while I go download some of that sweet sweet marijuana curry.

Short-Story Archives: The Stain (Part 2)

    The sun has set into the island's hills in the east side of George Town which brings in chilling breezes from the port that cool the sweat on my back. "See, I suffer much, just because, of your laziness, you owe me, a favor Ah Seng," Ah Fook tells me with that smirk, a smirk so classic that even with a bag full of grain on my back I can still see it. "I could have, gone home, played mahjong, and have my, dinner early. See how, self-sacrificing, am I?" he continues, panting while carrying another bag of grain on his back 
    "So all that talk of being brothers has come to this huh? Did you remember that time you borrowed money from that kelinga man?" I ask him back and he replies with a grunt. "You forgot to pay the him even when he specifically told you that a 'Goddess of Destruction' will come for you if you fail to pay back, then you laughed and said an Indian goddess has no interest in a Chinaman. You remember what happened next?"
    Ah Seng sighs, "A dog bit my leg, yes, yes," he replies dismissively.
    "It delivered her poison, you were so sick you could not move. Now I, have to personally go to the kelinga to apologise and pay back with my own money. Then, I also slashed my back with a knife in front of him to satisfy her need for vengeance."
    "That is, not my fault, you are stupid, to fall for, a kelinga's, dirty pranks," Ah Fook replies while shooing a little boy who has been pestering him a while, trying to sell him some oranges.
    "So you are the master of all things Indian gods now? I told you not to play with these sort of things," I nag him, but as usual he dismisses it saying I am paranoid, too superstitious, too easily tricked. It is his pride talking. "After all that, your legs got better right?"
    "Yes, yes, yes, you are right brother, I can never repay you," he finally relents as we both put the bags of grain on the warehouse's door. The boss nods and gives a few coins to each of us before going back and closing the warehouse. We were lucky this time, usually the boss will starve us for the day. But his recent engagement to a girl of a wealthy Hokkien family may have lightened his mood.
    We wipe the sweat off our foreheads and count our daily pay. "Do you want to make a little more money?" Ah Seng continues with a wide grin and a blinking eye. Ah, his schemes again. I nod to satisfy my amusement. "There is another Hokkien boss who looking for laborers to carry cargo at night. You want? Pay is good."
     I feel bad to disappoint his enthusiasm. The night is setting in and I just want to go back to the dormitory and rest for another day of work. "Work until bones break for what? Enough to eat, enough to drink, what more do you want?"
    I did not mean what I said, I though it might make him accept the decline better. However, his face was aghast. "You mix with these kelinga and malai too much and now you sound like them!" he mocks me jokingly while patting my back in a friendly manner. "Live just to have enough to survive, what life is that?"
    "What do you want to do with so much money?"
    "Open business, find a wife, be rich, have children."
    "But there are so little women here, why would they marry a poor labourer like you?"
    "Then, open business, be rich, find beautiful wife, have children," he answers while laughing loudly. I admire his ambition, my wish is to earn enough so I can sail back to China and live out my old days in the village. Being unsure, I shrug. "Haiya, come, I only do this because this brother is trying to taking care of you. This is opportunity. You are stronger so you will get better pay. See, with my brains and your brawns, we can take on anything."
    Ah Fook does have a point, he is after a Hokkien clansman, a work-mate, a close friend; It is only proper I agree.

Short-Story Archives: The Stain (Part 1)

This is a little short story I have written to paint you guys a picture of life in the colonial Southeast Asia. The story will be divided into multiple parts. Here is part 1:


"Ah Seng, Ah Seng, eat dinner!" a familiar voice calls to me. I await squatted outside the family hut that belonged my father's father. My father squatted next to me nonchalantly as usual. Some few yards away, I keep vigil watch over my grandfather who laid on a mat inside a small hut of thin wooden planks made just for him. He stopped walking ever since his leg swelled with pus. We had no money for any sort of doctors and he insists that his time has come and was unwilling for the family to spend another coin more on him. Thus he remained doomed to that little prison, slowly waiting for the afterlife.

"Ah Seng, Ah Seng? When are you getting a wife?" My mother asks in Hokkien while serving rice with steamed vegetables. I remain silent. "Ah Seng, Ah Seng, if you don't have wife, how do you have children? How do you pass on the family name? You must think of the family first," She continues. My father seems oblivious to mother's nagging and the world as he chomps on his food. The smell from his clothes tells me he has been smoking that vile opium again who had poisoned his body and mind rendering him unable to work. Poor mother, I thought as I scowl at him.

"Ah Seng, Ah Seng, take this bowl of rice and give it to grandfather, if he is going to die better a full ghost than a hungry ghost." I nod. I have been put in charge of delivering food and water to my grandfather but I dread at that duty; the hut is fouled with the stench of his rotting legs which had by now grown into a grotesque mixture of red blood, white bone, yellow pus, and black dead skin. He would smile gently at me each time I come, but I could not bare to return the gesture. After I am done with my solemn duty, I would quickly rush home to wash my hands off the disease, the misfortune, and perhaps the guilt of failing to be a filial grandson.
__________________________________________________________________________________

"Ah Seng, Ah Seng!" the voice in Hokkien pulled me out from the clutches of the dream demons right before cold water splashes on my face. I jerk up from my gunny sack bed in response. "Woi, Ah Seng, time to toil! Boss said he will make you starve if you dare to be late again."

I immediately scan the coolie dormitory with my eyes which are in full attention and in shock; the dormitory is empty save for me and Ah Fook. "Die!" I exclaim and quickly rush out of the dormitory with Ah Fook. "Thank you for waking me, but you will also be late." I asked him while we rush towards the jetty.

"That is what brothers do!" he replies with a smile. He is the closest thing I have to a family ever since I sailed to Penang. This place is foreign and the work is heavy but unlike back in Fukkien, I will not starve working hard here; that is of course if the boss will not have my head this time. Despite it all, Ah Fook made all this bearable. We had countless adventures and managed to bail each other out even at the worst of times. Perhaps meeting Ah Fook is my fortune in life which coincidentally is what his name means in Hokkien.

My Writer's Bible!

For your info, I am not a Christian. But I guess developing countries could use a little consumerism and well, everyone loves presents.Christmas is over, and my lovely girlfriend gave me an awesome gift, it's the book "How Not To Write a Novel".

According to the internet, that book is recommended as a must-read for all aspiring writers. I tried to look for it in the local bookstores but sadly, they had none. So, my girl went to Amazon and got one copy shipped from the US. According to her, the look on my face when I unwrapped my gift was priceless.

Can you feel the light emanating from it?

After reading a few pages, I had to agree with internet that this is some very good stuff! It contains many common mistakes novel writers make and with it, an example so you can experience the pain of reading it firsthand. For example, to illustrate using bombastic words sometimes stall a reader's immersion into your story:

"This is silly," she scoffed glibly at her.

Another plus point is that this book was written in a humorous tone that saves me from the dread of reading a boring textbook. That also means that even if you are not planning to write a novel, you will still have fun reading it. One notable example is concerning the mistake of letting a character escape from a challenge by a seemingly convenient out-of-the blue solution; the book describes that as a deus ex machina which is French for 'Are you f*king kidding me?'

 Hey, this one actually has a deus! (Note: The actual book does not have illustrations.)

To fully utilise this book, I'd say you should first be able to write understandable English, then this book can help you write exceptional stories. I will recommend this to anyone who wants a publishing deal or simply a good laugh. Needless to say, I love this book and will probably refer to it very often when I start penning (or rather keyboarding) things.