First, it introduced me as a priest of Light but does not tell me what that my vocation is exactly. The game mechanics introduced favour points that can be used to power up prayers but then does not tell what these prayers do. I looked past it and get into the game hoping that the setting will slowly establish once I read on. It did not, so I just assumed it was a generic Dungeons and Dragons setting.
"Each prayer will decrease your Favour and if it reaches 0, the journey will be over since the prayer will have consumed the piece of Light you carry by birth – your soul."
The writing was problematic. Although I'll give the author some slack because I too come from a country where English is not the first language. Thus we too use English a bit differently. I generally understood what the author was writing about. However, this is a competition where majority of the readers (I assume) comes from countries where English is the first language. The oddness of the sentences is so numerous in this entry that it felt like the reading experience was littered with speed bumps and that stops me from being taken in by the story.
At the start of the game I was introduced to Sister Ulmia the girl I had to woo to win this game. Personally I felt that the author did not write enough to bring this character to life enough for me to care about her. But you be the judge, here is a list of descriptions of Sister Lumia in the entire entry.
- You turn your head and smell the sweet odour of Sister Ulmia. Her emerald almond-shaped eyes sparkle in the light of the street lamp. She looks stunning even in twilight.
- There is an ugly scar on her throat, marring her immaculate milk white skin.
-You can see her wide smile as you begin the prayer. It is a beautiful smile. She puts her hand where the scar was.
-Sister Ulmia looks with disgust at the bloodstains as soon as you arrive at the well-lit square in front of the inn. You understand her. She is used to the jet black members of the Order of the Cleansed wear.
- The priestess plays with her infernally red hair, trying to sort the beautiful mess.
-“I feel like drinking a jug of wine,” the priestess says.
- She asks, her cheek already obtaining a rosy hue.
-What you know about the beauty is that she used to be a devil who went through a series of transformation prayers so that she could look human and serve the Light.
-The skin of the priestess gets bright red and spotted. You have never seen her initial form,
Then she gets kidnapped and not heard from until the end.
I would not have cared much for this girl if treating her nice was the only way to win. The author will keep reminding me from time to time.
Even if I ignore about the romance part of the book and pretended was a rescue adventure. The challenges posed to me was very often resolved by sheer coincidence or by a solution that does not make sense and that makes the adventure mediocre.
Overall, I can say that the author's writing is his biggest weakness, and that weakness is magnified by writing a genre that needs good writing skills to make readers engross in the story. This one is hard to recommend even among fans of Bishojos.
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